Apology from a queer to Belize. . . .

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6th November, 2018 
June Reyes

I am sorry that I can’t change who I am even though I tried so long to. I guess I had the audacity to believe I was part of ‘normal’.
I am sorry my very presence in church offends you so I ditch the church setting to go to the club but I had no idea I offended you even more; it’s ok I understand that I don’t deserve salvation and that my ‘gay’ money values less than your ‘real’ money. I deserved the insults and violence, how dare I exercise my freedom of assembly and association.
I am sorry that I am ‘flamboyant’ and should act right when I am around you; it’s ok I deserve the insults and the beatings. How dare I exercise my freedom of expression such openly in public for all to see. Don’t worry I’m going back to the closet.
I am sorry that you think I ‘influenced’ your child to be gay; I am sorry for planting those ‘gay seeds’. I forgot that they’re more influenced by me than what they see with you and other family members, on tv, at school, on the internet and those other things. I accept full responsibility and I am sorry.
I am sorry that I am the reason for rape in this country and all cases of child sexual abuse; I’m a predator you see and young blood is what I love and I just can’t help myself. I am a pitiful being; I’m sorry Belize.
I am sorry that my reproductive organs are no longer useful now that I am gay! So now all of humanity is doomed and will come to a screeching halt because I am useless as a woman for not fulfilling my biological responsibility of procreation.
I am sorry that I am a ‘bum’ on society; that I don’t work, nor do I pay my taxes, nor do I respect law and order. I am a vagabond and I can’t help it. So by all means Belize you should ‘discipline’ me to ensure I act in order; oh and be sure to tell the kids how they should treat people like me as well.
I am sorry that I thought a family and relationship was perched on love, respect, understanding, compassion and honesty; it couldn’t . . . you insist that meeting gender roles should take precedence. A boy cannot be a man without a father after all because being a man is about toxic masculinity and not about being a respectable person.
I am sorry that I am ‘forcing’ you to accept me. Ruby. For who I am and not for who I have fallen so deeply in love. I am sorry that I too thought I deserve to love and exist in peace with you.
The audacity. . .
For that I am sorry. . .
I am sorry Belize!

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